Masks of Everyday Life

Halloween 2019 (our first as a family of four)

Halloween is one of my family’s favorite holidays. We start talking about our costumes months ahead of time. Our neighborhood goes all out with the decorations (we got ours up this weekend!), which gives us the perfect reason to have nightly Halloween walks. We make our way through a list of Halloween movies and finally, we have family over the night of to eat chili, trick or treat, and help us hand out candy!

This Halloween has me thinking a lot about masks, but not so much the kind we wear on October 31. I’m thinking about the ones we each wear in our daily lives. Psychologists see masks as part of our strategies to influence others' perceptions of us. Erving Goffman’s idea of dramaturgy suggests that we all play roles, like actors on a stage, to fit social expectations or protect our self-image. These masks help us navigate social situations but can create stress when the gap between our true selves and the persona becomes too wide.

Some of the inner work I’ve been doing this year is centered around trusting myself and embracing the idea of being enough as I show up as my imperfect self in each room I enter. So this month, I’ll be observing myself throughout my various roles and interactions and then journaling on these questions:

• How did I act or present myself in the situation?

• Was this role aligned with my true self, or did it feel like a mask?

• What thoughts was I thinking?

• What emotions was I feeling?

You’re welcome to join me in using these journal prompts if they speak to you. And I would love to hear your thoughts on the masks you wear, too.